Aisha: I can tell you that no one can actually hurt you. You aren’t afraid to trust people, you’re afraid to trust yourself. What I see when I look in you is that you are unwilling to meet your own pain, directly, and it shows as a belief that people are not trustworthy. What the reality is that the only one you need to trust is yourself.
When you are with people, if you trust yourself, then you will be with the pain of your own brokenness. So when someone hurts you – if you want to look at it in the orchestration of the whole Divine Play – when someone hurts you, that can only happen because you are not with your own brokenness. So in a way it’s like you are attracting the reflection into that brokenness over and over. So we have some identity there which says “Oh hurt again, oh hurt again, hurt again, hurt again, hurt again.” So you’re closing yourself in based on not meeting your own brokenness directly. Can you follow what I’m saying?
So, oh, (laughing) I thought I would have to speak for five, ten minutes before there was an agreement. I love you guys! Perfect! So let’s get straight to it then.
What there needs to happen is a willingness to let the love and power of your attention move to inside your own self. So inside your own self,what I see is a heart and it’s aching. I see a woman, I see a belly and it’s aching. So to be with that aching is honest. To be deeply feeling and being in that pain, that is honest. Instead, you shield yourself from Love, and in a way, it brings in this layer of dullness over you, protecting you from being touched in those places which you already know in you hurts.
So what you’re doing in that movement – I mean it’s basic self-protection, you know? But when you allow those shields of self-protection to fall, what you are facing is the fact of your own wholeness waiting to happen – the birth of yourself as Love, the birth of yourself into the wholeness of yourself as a woman.
So you see it holds different aspects in it, and one of them are that willingness to come into the deepest integrity of yourself, and to let that integrity be something that you move forward in the world with. You see if you don’t even want to rest in yourself you can’t touch the brokenness, so it can’t heal. If it can’t heal you can’t come into your deeper and deeper love for yourself as Woman, as Love, as Truth.
So everything waits for you to step into that deepest commitment to yourself, because without the deepest commitment to yourself you cannot truly commit deeply to any relation, to any communication, to any connection with anything around you, yes? So that’s waiting.