Student: At Hidden Paradise in October, something that you said that penetrated me deeply was “Relaxation is humility”. I do find relaxation in the heart a challenge for me.
Aisha: So that’s a touch on the real vulnerability, isn’t it? Because it’s not just your heart, it’s your feminine heart. And inside of that it’s your relationship with the masculine.
I gave a few words on it earlier, in regards to this willingness to let the shield, the guard, this guard, to let that actually crack. And I say crack because it is kind of like, women can be one thing, outwardly, but the moment it comes to their own reception, they can be totally guarded, and that’s the same as the total guarding of the woman and their womanhood. And there’s something much more genuine and, that which actually invites for a deeper universal reality – to let that unfold and it happens through that ‘yes’, that relaxing into the heart, in through the heart I could almost say. But right now it’s going to take some effort for you, because you’re so used to living without that piece of you.
But when you are consciously asking yourself to feel deeper into your heart, you feel a stinging, is that true? Yeah, so that stinging is exactly what you need to feel. The moment you touch deeper on that and allow yourself to do that with the relaxation of humility, then all of that which is sitting there as these like (gestures claws with her hands), it will just slowly, gently open and more and more. But that stinging is a part of your defence.
The real humility, the real relaxation is when you actually allow your heart to open, by allowing your nakedness and allow yourself to be touched, as in stop using a contraction around your heart to keep yourself from feeling. And then in that relaxation you lose both the yes and the no in a way. You know right now there is pushing and pulling going on at the same time, there is “ah I want it so bad” and at the same time there is total rejection of it. So it’s just not relaxed, Rhianne, it’s just not relaxed.
And your priorities have everything to do with it, the inner priority. Feeling the longing and letting it crack you open, or – something else. I really invite you, don’t go another day, don’t accept to go one single more day without living your deepest heart. Feel how much grief there is there.
And just to properly touch this conversation with you, I don’t know when I’ll be seeing you again, but for each day you spend just doing something else – waiting for something to happen that will change things. Something won’t happen, that which is waiting to happen, is You. You and your surrender. And settling for just another experience during a day from that place of not holding your deepest heart, it’s kind of sad, because there is such a depth waiting for you. There’s so much more to life than just another experience.
Feel like you weigh a ton and you just want to drop on the floor, and either never move again or at least not move for twenty days. Looks like you’re so tired of keeping it going, despite the fact that nothing is fucking going by itself, is that true?
That’s exactly the drop everything is waiting for, just as I said to you and just as you touched when we sat on the couch out there the other day, it’s the same thing. You have to stop getting up, just drop down in there, and stay down.