Student: When you talk about self-love, to me it feels like I need justification for that, for myself, because I don’t feel I deserve it.
Aisha: Okay. So the thing is that you have this habit of believing that self-love equals entitlement, self-justification and these kinds of twists which aren’t really about self-love. So these are very much plugged into your psyche, it’s very mental, it’s very psychological. So this way of loving yourself that I’m talking about here is equal to being present with yourself – that is self-love. Acting according to being good to yourself and thereby being good to everyone else, not the other way around – that is self-love. Allowing your life to move forward according to what is best for everything, the thing is that that which is best for you, and not from this wanting, ego, self-justification place, but actually that which is rich and good for your soul and for yourself as a human being, to move on that, is self-love.
And it might even seem selfish at times, but this is something where we start involving the mental into whether we are worthy of giving ourselves the love that we never received. Right now I’m speaking about when people who are all in self-denial around each other, and all of a sudden one chooses to release him or herself from that pattern, chooses Love, chooses Truth, then to everyone else that will seem selfish because you’re breaking the pact, you know? “We feel like shit and you’re supposed to be a part of this”, you know, that kind, and that’s how many people are with each other, how they interact, communicate, how they deal with feelings, everything is about like – how did it ever serve anyone that we drag each other down instead of lift each other up? Understand me correctly, I’m not talking about the ‘consciousness coming down’ thing, but I’m talking about the contagious suffering, yes, and right there, in every which way, to the extent that you… it’s almost like you need to grow into your own self-love, and right there you need to make the choices that are good for you, no matter what the reflection is from the people around you. And this is where we get into struggle often with family or whatever, because often we’ve generated this whole pool of pain together in a way, and often it’s what defines us, you know? The pain is what makes us a family almost (laughing). It’s deeply sad in a way
But for you to bring yourself into the right path of your life of Truth of yourself, right there, yes, the self-love is about the right choices for you, the conscious choices for yourself, it’s about choosing Love and the Compassion over the fear – but they often go together those two. And it’s about bringing that choice of Love so close into yourself that it isn’t about whether you choose to quit the smokes, that’s also it of course, but, it’s more like it’s so close in on you that the choice of Love is you and yours in every moment. It’s not a choice you make once a week, or once a day, your choice of Love is yours to make in moment to moment to moment to moment to moment.