The more dark, things, all those things that you spoke earlier, a little bit about shadow. I have become not me, I’m not that, I’m not that, I’m not that… And it feels to me right now where I’m at, there’s nothing, is like I don’t get to choose what to swallow, what to pass through.
Do you remember what I said to you on the stairs the other day? About applying your masculine to your feminine, yeah? So, in doing that, these different areas they can appear. The feminine without the masculine, there is nothing to run it through, there is nothing to determine, there is no space to hold it, basically, it just becomes a getting-blindly-lost-in. But in applying your masculine to your feminine, that is also to be translated into your willingness to hold yourself as love, to hold your body – as consciousness. So in doing that, these things they will arise, and what they require from you, is that you come to know yourself as the silence of your masculine, but then are able to be with the noise of your feminine.
So when that is possible, all of a sudden, these different places where, identity is hiding, around disliking parts of you, that starts dissolving. It starts dissolving in these things that start popping up. Because when they pop up, as you know, you have to deal with them, otherwise they will just be playing around.
So basically, what I can say is that there is a waiting for you to come in to a full love of yourself as woman, but, also as silence, as love. Because the moment these two are separated, you are walking around waiting for something or someone to hold you, while actually you need to hold yourself. And the moment you do hold yourself, then these areas of lack of self-love around, these closed places, places that “this is not me, and this is not me, and this is not me”, as they appear, the more you can bring them into your consciousness, into your love, without acting on them – the more love can settle to the very bottom of your bottle.
So letting consciousness settle, in through your bodyspace, without neither your preference for being HIM or HER! But you just being silent – without needing to fix – HER, just coming in to love yourself – and allowing a deeper and deeper love in the sense of not allowing yourself to reject certain feelings when you see them appear inside of you. And that’s not about a fight going on, that’s about meeting everything inside you as that love, with that love.