Student: So I carry around this huge stone of resistance.
Aisha: I see
Student: I know. Let’s just bring it on the table because I’m sick of carrying it around. And I think it comes up when there’s intimacy, and sometimes it goes, but most of the time it’s there and I just want to get rid of it now.
Aisha: Yeah, so, you have to wear the right pair of glasses to see what’s going on there, and it isn’t like “oh no it’s back again”, it’s not like that. What it is at its core is just a simple, basic disagreement with existence, and no matter what you look at when that is the case, the result is the same, you hate everything you look at. Is that true?
Student: Pretty much.
Aisha: Yes, exactly. Okay, so the core of it is negativity. So you say “I’ve been walking around with that forever,” but the reality of it is that every time that you go deeper, every time you place yourself in Love, every time someone loves you, there it is. But it isn’t anything that comes as anything other than the response to you being loved. It is Love hitting these places where you are rejecting Love.
So the right glasses that you need to wear around this is that when it reappears it is the next layer of it Liz. It isn’t “oh, now it’s back again,” because that’s just like self-hatred, like hitting yourself on the head as if there is something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. What there is, is a need for you to take responsibility for every time it re-emerges. So taking responsibility when it re-emerges is equal to being present with. And from that ground I have to say to you to let go of that which wants to get rid of it, because you’re going to have to feel your way through all of it, that is the only way. And that comes with establishing yourself in a way where you can be compassionate with yourself when that arises.
Student: But what do I do practically when it’s there, because when it’s happening I just feel shame and…
Aisha: Practically, feel shame. Practically, feel negativity. Practically, you feel with compassion that which goes ‘no’. Practically, you feel the fear in that, fear of life. Practically you stay with that, you stay with you, and you never leave. Please do give up that which is trying to fix this, so you can get rid of this and see that this is a part of being you. This is a part of what you have to deal with as a part of coming into Truth, as a part of falling in love with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you Liz, there is nothing wrong with that part. There is nothing wrong with its appearance.
So in a way, you can take all of that which is trying to make its appearance, it’s almost like you mentally you try to put something together which can make you yourself believe you are wrong. Be really, really careful with that. Whenever you get thoughts like that completely disengage from the belief that’s trying to build around it. You are so lovely, and whatever is in there is just another part that needs to be loved up, simply. And you’ve got nothing better to do here. And you see that you are becoming more and more capable for every round you’re going through, for every bit and piece that you’re falling in love within yourself, you see that everything about you turns more and more real, yes? So then the only thing that needs to go is that which thinks that you need to get rid of this, and that which is using its emergence of its next layer, to build and upkeep some kind of idea that something is wrong with you. That’s it.
Student: Thank you.
Aisha: I want to say to you that now that you’re taking your human existence even more seriously, that you’re going to meet this more and more and more, because before when you weren’t actually even interested in your human existence, you’d look the other way. Now you’re not looking the other way anymore and that means that you are inviting everything that needs Love to come and be seen. And it will. And it will be some years of working that out. But for every round you take, more beauty will be there as you. Yes, awesome, huh?