Inability to Love

StudentInability to love in any moment in any situation, but mainly with the ones that are nearest to you.  And how limiting it feels, and how it feels almost like it should not be there.  How to deal with this inability to love?


AishaSo first off, I want to have you feel through that “it shouldn’t be there” thing.  You see what lies inside of that is bound also to what you said of “it’s not fair”.  And what is there is a basic disagreement with how things are, the state of things. So, what I want to point to inside of this is the arrogance of disagreement with right now.  You see there is no inability to love unless there is arrogance.


So, what can we do in each moment specifically you’re talking I sense about the intimacy, intimate relation yes? Good. So, what is there is wounded human beings, this is the state of affairs, this is how it is.  And inside of that, if we can meet that with compassion, with understanding, with agreement and acceptance, then right there, there is no inability to love.  There is only how much pain are we willing to meet?  Because if pain is here – we cannot be intimate if there is pain, and if there is pain the only thing that makes sense is to feel it.


So, the moment you disagree to feel what is there it becomes “this is not fair” and “this shouldn’t be here”, but this is arrogance and what is called for is a deeper willingness to love, a deeper willingness to be with everything, a deeper call to Truth.


What we face as mothers or partners is the fact that even though we’re individuals, we’re not individuals, we’re all bloody connected, and that means that however far we can elevate ourselves we’re not really allowed to do that apart from that which is around us.   There is one Being here, and there is a lot of pain in it, but that’s okay if we can just bloody be with how things are.  If we can take our faces and rub it into the mud of loving this, and this is where we’re wearing down these different layers of identification at the ground level, in the belly.  And the more we’re willing to love things as they are the more pain we will meet, yes, but we will also meet deeper and deeper integration of Her, deeper and deeper birth of Truth of Her.


But as long as we’re not willing to meet everything in its most sincere, in its most straight.  As long as any part of us is willing to ride on a train on being dedicated to Truth as if that’s apart from anything else. Until we meet the end of that there will be this separation happening again and again and again, so all of this needs to be hollowed out.  And all of the time it also needs to be balanced with the willingness to take care of yourself.  There can’t be any separation, there can’t be any “me and them”, there can’t be any “us and them”, there is only all of this and being willing to be present with all of this; to feel the pain of all of this, to feel the potential of all of this.


Right here there is no one home, can you hear that?  When we lose these preferences there’s no one home at ground level, can you taste it?  We can bring our minds beyond concepts, but can we bring our feelings beyond concepts?  Can we bring our human existence beyond concepts?  Can we bring ourselves beyond the good and bad to truly find that goodness which is beneath it?  The real goodness which isn’t based on a point of view.

© 2019 Aisha Salem

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