Erasing the Footsteps of the Past

StudentWhat you just said is “There is that innate brokenness of the human being and at the same time there is nothing to fix”.  So, for me it’s very difficult to put both those things together. When I look back at my life there are very, very many things that I would love to change.  And for me to look back at my life and say there is nothing to fix – that’s not true, I cannot take it into my being.

 

AishaWhen I say there is nothing to fix, it’s not that we’re not all standing before a massive healing, yes?  But the thing is that, when we move ahead on the ‘something’s wrong’, then the love that we want to apply in the world – we want to do that from the idea that something is wrong, and that means that everything that’s taking place is coming basically from a core of anger in you.  So even if you come forth as heart here (raises open left hand), you’re not deeply connected into the ground in a way where you can feel what is actually needed.

 

So that was the first thing I got for you, because you say that it seems like two opposites and it actually isn’t – those two they cannot be separated because the only way you can love without doing it, in a way which includes you as a human being, is from a place of not really seeing what you are standing in front of, can you see that?

 

If you won’t feel yourself deeply to the bottom, then all of that which you’re trying to fix, you cannot really feel what lies behind it.  You cannot really feel the pain which is actually causing whatever you’re trying to fix as ripples, yes?  So you’re out here trying to fix the top of the wave, but you’re not truly sinking down to the bottom of the ocean, where that Love, that Compassion is equal to a healing of the brokenness, a healing of the wounding across everything.

 

So when that happens, it’s kind of like the love of Him, Him – the Universe, and the love of Her, that Her which is God as the Feminine.  So in a way I could say that Love as Him is kind of ‘light’, like it’s ‘love light’ comparatively speaking, it’s where we can get lost in the whole love and light business.  But what we don’t do is do like this, (looks down) ugh shit, (looks up) we need to keep looking like this, yes?  Because the moment we do like this, (looks down again) ugh, all of a sudden, you know the love just shatters, it’s just not love any more, all of a sudden.

 

So not that there’s nothing wrong with Him as the Universal Love – it’s beautiful, it’s Pure Light.  But the Love which unfolds, down through matter, into the earth, that’s Her, that’s the Black Mother, that’s the Black Light, and that is all inclusive, can you see that? So in a way you cannot say that there is a separation between that which – all of the love that’s needed and the very work through your own wounding. You cannot make that separation, because it’s like cutting yourself off here (places hand on solar plexus area). So for things to get really real, you need to be willing to stand in your vulnerability, then Love gets to get all the way down there (moves hand from head height to below waist).  Then you get to meet your ugliest faces and your most beautiful one.  Your most naked one.

 

So that was one part of it. The second part of it, when you say there is nothing to fix, in regards to when you look back: A part of the whole work of the confession as I spoke about earlier involves a proper study of ourselves, an investigation, when we meet those parts in us which has been that aggression in movement. So all of the places where that aggression has been playing, it has caused pain. And we need to meet, with our hearts, everything we did from that place, because it’s a part of that confession in us.

 

It’s a part of coming to a full ability to be with our own history, to be with our own humanness, to be with our own creation.  It’s the only way we can truly un-weave the parts of that history which has become closings rather than openings, yes?  So there is something to touching all of those places.  It’s not about the history as such, but it’s more like being with those parts of our history where we have been deeply affected, or have deeply affected everything else – other people, things like this.  Those places need to be acknowledged, because they’re standing as these kind of odd numbers in the equation, in a way.

© 2018 Aisha Salem

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