Student: Basically it still comes down to I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know where I’m doing it, and I want to ask you if you saw any blind spots that I can’t see.
Aisha: It all has its own logic, doesn’t it? Periods where we can work, periods where we’re not really allowed to work because we are going through a lot of wounding, periods of this and that and the other thing. I can only invite you to move with Trust, in and through the whole thing.
And then I want to say that it’s not really – although it is in a moment you’re doing it – it’s not really important what you do, in terms of what you do will change and change and change and change, as will you. So in that sense, letting your work turn and twist accordingly makes perfect sense, because you change and change and change.
So for you to actually share, if you share that which holds the deepest significance for you, the wisdom of your Being, then it doesn’t really matter how you do it. And even with that said, I can also say that, take care of not getting into this minefield of mind-fuck over it, in terms of the work. One thing is allowing it and following that flow, but be careful not to create subtle aversions against everything else but what you’re doing, because it’s a great trap, it’s a great way to really run yourself off the side line.
I had a little talk with Joelle about that recently, and it’s like, what really puts everything in perspective is the reality that our sharing carries significance and is important, but the moment that we take that as if it’s something, as if our spiritual path is this, and that’s what it’s about, in a way it’s creating a great separation between what we are doing, and what everyone else is doing. It can hold such really deep seeds of arrogance within it.
As the result of that, no matter what field we’re talking about, if I’m to speak a little from own experience, I’ve been dancing with it in ways, as to always be aware of maintaining the flexibility of everything. So even if I could move with ‘I don’t eat meat’, now and then I would do it anyway, even if my – that’s just the food thing, specifically meat – but ‘eating healthy’ and then ‘that’s really great for the body’, but then, once and again I jump sideways and then I just eat crap, simply to test that I’m not running around with ideas in my head, something which makes something right and something wrong, where my whole system will revolt and keep me from enjoying the side-step, do you understand? Because that’s actually creating the ‘this what I’m doing is right and that is wrong’.
So that’s how I’ve been dancing with it, in every area. And for instance, in this area, I mean I’ve been teaching for what, twelve, thirteen years or something? Or whatever you want to call it, teaching, you know, just this, I’ve been this, for thirteen years. And four, five years ago or something, wait, was it four years ago? Four or five, it doesn’t matter, but I said ‘ok’, again the side-jump, and I actually just checked what life wanted and I just, ok maybe I just go completely simple, and I took and I found four or five restaurants where I wanted to take a job as a dishwasher. Just to clean, clear out, just be absolutely no one, nothing special, just the most simple of work. Well life didn’t want to give me the job, but it was just that willingness of ‘whatever you want me to do, I will do’. Being willing to live the simplicity of whatever is unfolding. And that can be sweeping, or washing, or this. There is no difference, not really.
A few things poking into place there.
But that’s what I’m saying, that no matter what and no matter what movement we’re making, please make sure to maintain flexibility of it. Please make sure to all of the time, hold it with the straightness of your movement and yet without allowing these subtle, arrogant ideas to build on the side of it