Student: I recently went through a relationship break-up. There are certain lessons that I learnt from that, but there is still no sense of closure. I still feel there is almost like a light thread between, and it just doesn’t let go. And any time I’m trying to almost destroy it, I just have that fear, and I have no desire to destroy that, although it causes pain.
Aisha: There are never any guarantees when we enter into relating. We always get together with the ones we get together with because we have something we need to do together. And for some, if there is a match which covers all of these different aspects of soul, then that can continue and continue and continue. But if there are only certain aspects that we need to uncover together then at some point life will lead us separate ways. But that doesn’t destroy the love between us, you know?
So whatever is inside of the love, that which wants to go back or anything – I think it makes sense that you taste into how much of that is actually because you don’t want to continue your own way, the fear of letting your own life happen and that it was actually safer, or whatever, to keep going back. And when you say it’s not – this that you say with closure, and you say it’s like something hasn’t let go. And it seems to me you are the one who hasn’t let go, because one thing is that you can actually allow the love to be the case, but inside of that, without any preconception about what needs to happen.
The moment that you accept life as it is, then right there, whomever is supposed to be and cross your way, happens from that place. The moment we have this underlying draw – there’s something that needs to die in that, can you see that?
That’s why we as lovers, we come together and we move apart, it’s because of that thing that rises and draws. So I can only say in my own relating, that it’s been cycle after cycle of letting the love be born and then, if anything inside of that doesn’t stay clear, allowing it all to die and being willing to listen yet again; okay what wants to happen? You understand?
And then Life is that which decides whether it continues or not, because if your ways are separated, and her way keep going in another direction, then obviously not, you understand? Because she’s doing what she needs to do. So if you sit there thinking that you should still be something, then you are the one not accepting that actually right now her life does like this (moves hand right from body). But your does like this (points other hand upward).
And it can be hard of course, it’s painful for the heart, especially since when we are in intimate relationship we do make these bonds, these connections, which count all the way down on a human level and it’s very (takes a deep breath and sighs). Yes. It can be very painful to move with the fact that our human beings are so involved. Yes. But you know what? Maybe it’s okay, maybe it’s okay.
I suggest you close your eyes right now, and then just listen and breathe in what I’m saying now. Maybe it’s okay.
There is a cry there, in your belly, and when that has been cried, it’s silent yet again and Life can do whatever it needs to do, in whatever direction it needs to do it. I actually invite you to take your space later, to give it a good cry and let that letting go happen. And sweet blessings to your Man.